I'm feeling long winded

This blog will probably be random. I have a lot to say about nothing.

Wisely and slow, they stumble but run fast... Is that me? I rush into things at times yet do nothing without much thought. I make no.

I've been alone for the last 36 hours, and with no TV, I have had a lot of time to think. I feel like our lives are starting all over. We've lost so much and yet we are still going. We really have nothing left to live for. We have to start all over. Austin and I have decided that, as for now, I will not be returning to work. This is hard, I feel as though I should do something in our time of need. But what?? I'd say still be with the kids, cart them around, do homework, etc. but Austin has stepped up and started doing a lot of that, so now I feel even more worthless. I need to do something jsut not sure what.

Sometimes I feel like Austin and I are a newly married couple. We are so mushy, lol. I truly hope it stays that way. I see other's who have been married for 5,6 ,7 years and they seem so, so nonchalaunte. Like they are bored with their mundane lives. I just think wow, I hope we don't end up like that. It's kind of a scary thought.

I've been reading the Twighlight series again, and they quote Romeo and Juliet, so, I decided to watch the movie and I realize that I understand so much more than when I was younger. I read the play in junior high and again in high school, twice. I think as an adult, with a better understanding of life, I can understand the play/movie/language better. I love the story. I would die for Austin, I love him that much. (btw, Claire Danes cries better than anyone I have ever seen.)

I found the dress I will wear when we are sealed in the temple. It's beaustiful, and was on;y $7.99!!! It is a size 12, which is a little disconcerting, but it's beautiful. I also found my 'wedding' dress for pictures afterwards. I haven't bought it because, well, because that isn't what is important, but it is beautiful. It's something I've always wanted, a wedding dress, but again with the rushing into things, I never had one. Austin and I were married 2 months early and my dress was in the shop, well now, even if I had it, it wouldn't fit to save my soul.

We have a meeting with the Bishop to turn in our letters to the First Presidency. I am so nervous. I want this so badly and it has been such a long road... please let it happen.