An answer from above

My interview went well, really well and I'm pretty sure I got the job; the only thing is I'm not taking it. All along Austin has insisted that I not go back to work. I felt it was something that I needed to get back to. I feel like I don't do enough around home to make it worthwhile. The night of my interview, I had an anxiety attack; something that hasn't happened since I've been home from the hospital (almost 2 months).  Considering I had them regularly (each week) Austin was concerned. Naturally, Austin feels differently about me working and tells me that I do MORE than enough at home to even warrant me returning to work. So I did what I knew I needed to do; I took it to the Temple. 

I spent a wonderful afternoon at the Temple yesterday. It was such an amazing experience that I can't even put it into words. A beloved member of our ward was the officiator and that made it all the more special. As I sat in the Celestial room, I had this overwhelming feeling that my family needed me at home. When I told Austin of my experience last night he said he felt relief. He knew, even when I wouldn't listen that I needed to stay home, for us, for the kids, and for my health. While we know it won't be easy now that we have 2 car payments, we know it is the right thing to do. 

To make myself feel more productive, I am taking this afternoon to paint a wall in our home. Eventually I will have painted the entire house, but I am taking it one wall at a time. Soon our living room will be put back to order completely and it will be cozy again. The front half of the house has all the tile, but 3 pieces, and it looks SO good and SO much bigger. Once it is complete, (and once I figure out how) I will post pictures of all our hard work.